no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
