i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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