I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm really busy with my period
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