if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
