Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
