All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
