oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize