I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
