we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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