I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
