Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
