he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you never un-have a 4some
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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