By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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