Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
