I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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