it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
