Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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