Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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