I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
