I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
