What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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