Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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