please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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