do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize