drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
