I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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