i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
