i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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