i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize