I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You need Xanax blowdarts
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
