What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
