what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
