Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
