i think i have two assholes
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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