i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
