Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
