awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
