She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
