did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
