ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
