do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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