He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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