I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
