Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
