So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
