Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
