Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
