i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
