I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
