How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
