hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
