So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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