what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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