i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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