Dual....:-)
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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