i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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