yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
