): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
