...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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