whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
