Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
