Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
