Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
