I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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