i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize