nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
