Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Randomize
