I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
