I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
